Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
