I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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