I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
