i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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