And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
