Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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