So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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