She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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