She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
