Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
