i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
