My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
