Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
