Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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