Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
