i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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