Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Randomize
