We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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