People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
