i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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