it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
