Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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