I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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