maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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