does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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