all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
