epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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