Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
