good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
