ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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