Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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