I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
