is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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