oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He shit in the fireplace
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
