She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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