just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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