Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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