1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
two words: eviction party
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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