Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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