wrigley field is MILF paradise
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
