**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
