you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
