I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
