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• (818): View more from California

  Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.

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• (714): View more from California

  The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore

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