he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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