No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
