the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
