I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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