Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
