How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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